The dreaded words:

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?"

I'm interrupting my seemingly interminable story "Slacking Toward Bethlehem" to deal with this nasty question because it's come up again and I still don't know what to make of it.

We went to a gathering at our maybe-church last night to meet with the pastor and other new people and learn more about the church. The subject of creeds came up, and one of the folks present observed that at the service today the new members weren't asked to recite a creed or otherwise prove that they belonged in the church. He found that interesting.

And the pastor responded that the Disciples of Christ considered themselves a non-creedal church, but that they did at some point ask if the person coming to join or be baptized had "accepted Jesus as their personal savior." And I felt like someone had just popped my happy little balloon.

Why does that question bother me? Because I don't understand it. I have no idea what it means. I don't quite grasp why I need a savior to begin with, or what it means to have a personal relationship with someone who's been incorporeal at least for over 2000 years.

It has always been the hardest thing for me to get past. I guess not having been brought up with faith in Jesus and belief in sin and redemption makes it hard for me now to see the relevance. But I will not, under any circumstances, say I believe something that I do not to make me acceptable to a church. I have too much respect for true belief, and for myself, to do that.