40 Days

Originally I was going to call this blog 40 Days. But all the possible versions of 40 Days that didn't involve strange punctuation or l33tsp3ak were taken.

Why 40 Days? Because I intend this blog to be a record of a lenten journey. Well, my lenten journey. And in the Christian calendar, Lent lasts for 40 days, the days between Ash Wednesday and Easter (minus the Sundays!), the days that Jesus spent fasting and praying in the desert before his return to Jerusalem.

As the preacher said in church last Sunday, Lent is a journey toward the resurrection. I feel like I've been on that journey for a long time. I've been meaning to write about it, clarify my thinking, try to focus on what that means. What journey exactly am I on? Why is it important? What is driving me? But I haven't until now. It seemed too hard, too painful.

Well, my husband and I went to Ash Wednesday service last night, and he asked me what I was going to give up for Lent. And I thought about it. I understand the value and symbolism of sacrificing for Lent, but somehow the idea didn't resonate with me at that moment. And then I thought... do the blog you've been talking about for Lent. Make yourself sit down, confront this desire in your heart to find a way to approach God. Every day. For forty days.

When I told my husband, I (as usual) downplayed the idea. "It's not really giving anything up." And he said, wisely: "It's giving up your time." It's also giving up my comfort zone. We'll see how it goes. I don't think I've ever done anything 40 days straight, except the things I have no control over like waking up and falling asleep.

Maybe I should just think of this as forty days of waking up.